| | My oh my. It has been a long time. I know no one ever uses this anymore, but I'm gonna update anyways! A lot has happened since I last updated this, but I'm still me, so not to much is different, just circumstances. I'm down here in Kentucky! Have been for about a 1 1/2 months. College is overall incredible! I have to be honest--I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself. There are a lot of things I thought would be different, and there are things I hadn't expected. One thing that surprises me is that even though I live so far away, I don't feel that a lot of my relationships are going to change as much as I had thought, and that is a real blessing. I love knowing my roots are in Michigan, and that there are people there who know everything about me, appreciate me, and will always be there for me. I only hope I can always be there for them. I have realized that I have the best friends ever. I am blessed. I so often feel like God is raining blessings on my life, and all I can do is smile a little as my eyes glaze and I realize I am loved. And I don't know why--I'm dirty. I'm a sinner. And I forget Him. But He loves me still... And I am thankful. There are some things I feel that aren't too easy though. I feel lonely sometimes. I guess I should say I am lonely, but I don't feel it's wrong or that I'm not supposed to feel that way. The fact is, I have loved. I have loved completely twice in my life. One of those girls is married now. The other has a boyfriend and it seems things are going well. I am excited for both of them! Things didn't end up the way I thought it should either of the times, but that's OK. I see now in both situations how much better God's plans are than mine. God used those two relationships in my life to strengthen my relationship with Him more than I could have considered possible. Can I be friends with them the way I was? No... But I think in a way, I will always be friends with them even if we don't talk much. It's because I knew them, and they knew me. And both relationships were different, but in both of them, I at least feel I was close to someone. Now College has rolled around. In all honesty, I feel like I've experienced enough in my life for quite a few people. That's OK, but I am scarred in a lot of ways. I'm still sad sometimes. I'm also so glad for this extra time of getting to know my Jesus all by myself, with no one else distracting me or deserving my attention. I think that's what heaven's gonna be like... I think in this life, Jesus only shows himself a little bit at a time, and that is only to the people who are desperate for Him. And even though He can show Himself some, our relationship takes place in a broken system, with a broken world, and we ourselves are broken, so our relationships with Him can't really be what they were once meant to be. I think when we can see Him, and talk to Him face to face, we will be the luckiest people in the universe! I know I will, for one, want nothing more than to be with Him... That'll be awesome. It's weird being at Asbury in a few ways. For one, it's odd not having a reputation for anything... at all. It's good because I am being able to find myself (I know, it sounds cliche, but whatev) without worrying about those who look up to me or expect something from me. The other odd but awesome thing is being surrounded by guys who are further along in their walks with God than I am! It's nice to rest... It's nice to have Bible study and let someone else do the praying and stuff. It's a blessing to take a break and just learn from their wisdom and examples. I like it a lot. I miss all of you people back home... I miss Teenworks. I miss my family. I miss Concord. I miss Vessels. It's not that I'm looking back all the time being miserable that I can't go back, it's just that those are the people/things/times/ that have made me who I am and it means a lot to me. And now I'm beginning another chapter here! Pretty cool. Anyways, that's me. Life as of late. Asbury is great! It's amazing because I really feel God hand-picked it for me. It fits better than I think any College could have. I love it when He opens doors and when you walk in them you are amazed at how well He knows you, and how much He loves you to bless you. |
